Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How many Russians can you fit in a Mini Cooper? It depends on how big they are.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Yo' mama's so black the dark couldn't even see her.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

If a tree falls in the forest, but nothing is there to hear it, does it still make noise ? Yes, because whether the action of the three falling produces sound waves or not is not dependent on whether something is there to receive these waves.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti-Joke is a knock-off.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the drug addict say to the doctor? I am a drug addict and am in need of help and rehabilitation.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I was walking down a railway line the other day... I was fined £1000

thumb_up thumb_down -9

sit in the dark for about 4 or 5 hours covered in Vaseline with a huge dildo inside of your arse

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why do sharks swim in salt water? Pepper water makes them sneeze! Why do whales swim in salt water? They can't survive in fresh water.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

There are three guys on an airplane, a Korean, a Mexican, and an American. The pilot comes on the speaker and syays,"The plane is to heavy, throw out the thing you have most in your country." The Korean throws out an AK-47 and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The Mexican throws out a taco and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The American throws out the Mexican and says,"We have to many of these in our country."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why shouldn't you get a clown angry? Because they'll yell at you.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A giant storm loomed over a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who has been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

whats red round and gets smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potatoe peeler

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: Why couldn't the skeleton go to the party A: He had a boner

thumb_up thumb_down -9

So i was writing a letter to my girlfriend on valentines day right ? So this is how it goes . " hey lisa happy volentines day!" my black friend walks up to me and says" its a mightyfine day out! " The moral of the story is... Tomatoes can't fly planes

thumb_up thumb_down -9

BOYS ARE DUMB AND THEY SMELL FUNNY AND IM ANGRY

thumb_up thumb_down -9

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the piece of macaroni say as they boy was about to eat him? Nothing. Foods are uneducated and illiterate therefore unable to speak, and went into the boy's mouth without a trouble.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: A woman is hit by a motorcycle. Whos fault was it the motorcyclist's or the woman's? A: It was the motorcyclist's fault. He shouldn't of been riding his mortorcycle in the kitchen while she was making my sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you drown a blonde? Force her head underwater until she can no longer breathe, thus shutting down her brain and killing her.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did a black kid kill his teacher? No reason. That what they do

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops