Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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"This is the best of all possible anti-jokes," said Pangloss.

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What did the blonde say to the other blonde? "Hey, do you want to get something to eat?"

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knock knock who's there boo boo who why are you crying it's just a joke

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Why was the teenage girl bleeding from her vagina? Because I had shot her in her vagina with my gun earlier that day.

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Roses are Black, Violets are Black, I am Ray Charles

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What do you get when you cross a gay man with a chainsaw? A decapitated homosexual.

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What did the young man's clothes smell like after a long night of partying? Laundry detergent, it was quite pleasant

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What happened to George's pet rock? It ran away.

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Whats the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? The Porsche isn't in my garage

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What's red and smells like blue paint? red paint

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What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

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Why was a white man surrounded by black men crying? He was in a support group for black men with vitiligo, which destroys skin pigments.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf or bread. why did the plane fall apart in mid air? The engineer was a loaf of bread Why didn't the plane take off? because it was delayed.

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bob lost his camouflage bag. he never found it.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead, ok!

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies in a truck? A: A pile of dead babies in a truck with one alive in the middle eating his way out.

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Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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What do you call a dog? A cat. What do you call a cat? A banana.

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What do you get when Justin Bieber mates with a beaver? Nothing, the species are too genetically different to produce offspring

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A: Knock Knock.. B: Who's there? A: John B: John Who? A: Shut the hell up, i'm masturbating.

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Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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