A French man, Irish man and Japanese man walk into a bar, seeing as the men speak different languages no conversation begins.

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why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because apples can't talk.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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whats worse than having ice cream and not eating it? Being lactose intolerant

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if john has 400 cookies and eats 300 what does he have left? diabetes

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Why didn't the boy eat his soup? It was to hot.

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Q: Whats pointy and sharp and rhymes with life? A: A spear. It's close enough.

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What did the boy say after smoking weed for the first time? -"I don't really feel anything" and his friends explained that is sometimes the case for a first time smoker.

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Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

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Dey see me boilin' Dey choppin' God I'm so fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juiiiiiiccccy! MR MCCANN

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A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says we dont sell juice here. The jew promptly leaves, offended.

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A Black man, a Latino, and a Midget get into a car. They drive to the county fair, get snow cones and ride the tilt-a-whirl.

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An over weight person is diagnosed with anorexia they used to be fatter

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(Insert short question here) (Insert long semi-irrelevant answer here)

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. There is an entire spectrum of the world I am not privy to.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

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A Fairly ghetto African-American male and a Korean Merchant pass each other on the streets of L.A. two weeks after the Rodney King riots, what happens? The merchant nods his head to say hello to the African-American and the African-American male does the same and they both live out sucessful lives. By the way the African-American just got accepted to Harvard on a scholarship program.

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what worse then stepping on a lego? watching your son kill your wife

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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whats awesome? a blade of grass with a mexican hat and a revolver.

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"Hey, do you guys wanna hear a joke?!" -no, shut up.

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What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

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How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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