Three men are walking down the street to buy groceries. They then take a left and continue walking towards the store.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

An iguana walks out of a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What Do You Call A Japanese Man Humming Classicle Music While Removing Toy Soldiors From His Ear With His Foot Jumping Up And Down On A Large Elephant Strutting About The Universe? Strange.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

-hey sam look what mom gave me for christmas -what eli? -a new baseball bat -thats your prosthetic leg silly

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why are elephants gray? to tell them apart from blueberries.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <<

thumb_up thumb_down +27

An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the Pillow say to the Blanket? Nothing. Inanimate objects do not contain the ability to speak, therefore they could not possibly say anything to each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

i am an idiot if you read this outloud your a dumb ass

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you tie your shoes underwater? In a submarine

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's brown and sticky? ...poop....and refried beans

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: What do you call a group of asians riding their bikes while carrying large bags of merchandise filled with an ample amount of video games? A: Obviously, a few enviromentally-friendly entrepreneurs who managed to make enough of a profit via their established buisness to the extent that they could buy what they required and get some other desired items as well.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's a Mexican who walks down the street called? A pedestrian.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "what do you want to drink" the guy says "a blue moon"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

does this look unsure to you?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the little girl get for christmas? her first period

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the old man fart?? Because he had gas

thumb_up thumb_down +17

>>-------------[Knee]---------->>>

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the white man rub the black man's hair for good luck? Because it's good luck to rub a black man's hair.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

whats worst than reading youtube comments? Panic at the disco

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is shorter than a toddler? A jewish lifespan.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you drown a blonde? Hold her head under water.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you make a bird drop a worm? Wring it's neck. P.S: If that anti-joke didn't persuade you to vote thumbs up for this post, then perhaps these delightful lyrics will convince you otherwise. I see them staring back at me They know my name The faces in the sky are looking for something more My friends have paper smiles and laugh at me in all my trials Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia My friends have hollow eyes They're made of shapes and curvy lines Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elena-siegman-lyrics/pareidolia-lyrics.html .] My pareidolia The loneliness is only missed when I am alone O yeah I might try to find my light tonight Hide my sight from eyes I try to fight My nine eyes of light die by the blight Ride white knight unite my plight tonight They're inside me They're inside me I'm inside out I'm inside out They're all around Within without Within without They're inside I'm outisde They're all around They're all around They're inside me I'm inside out They're all around Within without It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia la lalala lalala lalala lala

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops