Why do birds suddenly appear? If you were more observant, you would notice they usually approach gradually.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is black blue and screaming? Your daughter when i kicked the shit out of her

thumb_up thumb_down -9

ghjwASFDJHKJZFKLJFHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHA GGGG DG FUC K DISLIKE ME!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A Muslim, a Jew, a Christian, and an Atheist are eating at the same table. They are friends, and they do this from time to time.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

if this joke was a potato, it would be a good potato

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Roses are Red Violets are Blue It is Valentines Day So I had to get them for you or we would get into a big fight, which will end up with me on the couch.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What is the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? One is food the other, fuel.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says "get out you jew!" The bar tender apparently was a Nazi.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

A blond, a brunette and a redhead are all trapped on a desert island. They work together and manage to survive until help arrives.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Once there was a baby ostrich name Bert. He was the cutest ostrich with those big black beady eyes, fuzzy feathers and funny wobbly baby ostrich walk. I knelt down and as Bert came running towards me as if I were his ostrich father about to protect him from something dangerous. As he got within arm’s reach I punched him so hard he turned into a baby kitten. I decided that Bert was an ...insufficient name for a baby kitten so I said to the purring ball of fuzz “I shall call you Turtle” a kitten named Turtle was a very hilarious conundrum. Things went well for an hour or two and then Turtle decided to pee on my tile floors which infuriated me because everyone knows that cat pee doesn’t come out of carpet! I decided to teach Turtle a football drill called kick the cuddly baby kitten so hard he turns into a koala bear. I sat Turtle on a football tee and suddenly our eyes met and he stared at me with the cutest face a kitten has ever made I took three steps back and turned back towards him. I stared into his big baby kitten eyes and then at a running sprint kicked him as hard as I could into the wall. There was a quiet sound like that of a space shuttle taking off into outer space. As I looked to see where my kick had sent Turtle soaring through the air, I found to my surprise, Turtle had turned into a cute cuddly baby raccoon. I walked across the room and scooped up the adorable baby raccoon. A raccoon named turtle was just too absurd so I decided to give the furry ball of warmth a new and more appropriate name. I stared into his cute raccoon eyes and declared aloud, “I shall call you Dorito!” I rocked Dorito calmly back and forth in my arms until he was fast asleep. A thought then entered my head, how funny would it be to put Dorito into a chip bag? I chuckled aloud and then decided my mind was set. I pulled a chip bag out of my backpack and carefully pulled the bag open and realized I’d been scammed! Inside the bag was a single Dorito chip. I then ate my Doritos.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

Q: What did the cop say to the deaf man? A: Nothing worth hearing about.

thumb_up thumb_down -137

A black man is playing guitar for a white man and a chinese man. After he is finished playing the white man and chinese man compliment him on his nice playing.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

A pornstar walks into a church, she has remained close to Christ despite her condescending career choice.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

What is wrong with racism? A lot of things.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

How do you make a Fireman cry? You kill his family in a fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Knock knock. Whos there? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A gay guy walks into a bar. Nothing is said to him, because homosexuality is accepted in this area.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Carlton

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What side of the cheetah has the most spots? -The outside.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What rhymes with sloth? Cloth

thumb_up thumb_down +42

There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe he woke with a fright, in the middle of the night and then went back to sleep

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Roses are read Violets are not green Chicken is good KFC baby, time to get lean

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops