Dani Barton = Stupid

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How much does a polar bear weigh?. . .Approximately 515 kilos.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jeff. Jeff who? Sh*t. Wrong house.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a finger And the middle ones for you

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have clamidia Because Polly shat on me.

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your all shit at jokes

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A bike.

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What is a dog? Bark

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Is Carly smart? No.

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A black guy, mexican, and asian walk into a bar. They leave soon after because they heard the "one about them"

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What's the worst part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap. What's the best part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap.

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potato

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how did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken..

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Woman : Child,what time is it? Child : I'm not a kid, I Broccoli.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot. What are you, racist?

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Your mum is so fat, she has a larger bmi than someone with a healthy bmi

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I was having sex with my girlfriend the other night and she called me a pedofile. i told her that was a pretty big word for a 9 year old.

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What is brown and has 3 legs? My severely injured cat.

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What do you call a old guy watching little kids in a pool? a life guard

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What happens in the end of the original "Pinocchio" Italian fairy tale? He is hanged.

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What is yellow and sleeps alone? Yoko Ono.

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Guess what? Chicken butt

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What's worse than a male chauvinist pig? A woman that won't do what she's told.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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