One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose fell on your head." ..."MMMBBWWAAAAAGGGHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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What did the rapist say when he spotted the young girl? I am going to rape you!

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Two small boys are walking in a schoolyard. One of the boys sits down under a tree looking distraught. The other asks him "Well whats the matter Eddy?" "Every time I walk to my bus-stop in the morning, Jimmy Krugan, pushes me down and takes my money. " The first boy thinks for sec.. "Well here's what you do Ed; go to your Dad's shed and grab a 2X4, paint it bright blue. In the morning, walk to school with it under your jacket and when Jimmy starts in on you give him a good wallop. He wont be bothering you anymore." The following day the boys are in the yard again. Eddy is seen under the tree seeming just as distraught. Confused, the boy asks him.. "Well Ed, did you do what I told you?" "No."

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Roses are blue violets are red pull down ur pants and get in my bed :D

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what was the first thing Barack Obama said to the people of america? ... hi

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if justin beiber was dating a girl what would you call him? a lesbian

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Why do Jews have big noses? Because it is genetic.

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How do you make a baby cry? You hit it in the face with a hammer.

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A man walks into kindergarden class with a beer. He then gets arrested.

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A black man is playing guitar for a white man and a chinese man. After he is finished playing the white man and chinese man compliment him on his nice playing.

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A three legged dog walks into a saloon. He is quickly removed, as it was an establishment for humans and not for dogs.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up

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All dead all doom or all dead? How can you choose the question doesn't make sense. dead all dooom ohhhaklsdjfla;ksdjfal;skfjasd

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What is a terrible tragedy and wears ice skates? Holocaust; The musical on ice

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What is wrong with racism? A lot of things.

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What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas? A visit from the Make a Wish Foundation and the opportunity to see her favorite band in concert. Unfortunately, she was very ill from the chemotherapy, and was unable to really enjoy herself at the concert. She passed away several days later, surrounded by family and friends.

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what do you call someone that ran into a wall hurt

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A black guy walks in to a bar.

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Q: Whats worse then being murdered? A: Nothing

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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you know what sucks more than getting raped by a gorilla? getting raped by two gorillas.

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What did the 5 year old girl ask Santa for Christmas? A pony.

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A black guy and a Mexican were in a car. Who was Driving? The police

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What did the giraffe say to the monkey? Nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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