-hey sam look what mom gave me for christmas -what eli? -a new baseball bat -thats your prosthetic leg silly

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Three blondes were stuck on an island, one of them wished for a motorboat, later on they all died of starvation

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What happened when a black man's phone went off? He answered it.

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Where did little Annie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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What do you call a tree on fire? A burning tree.

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What's that smell? Your grandmother being burned alive.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks him "why the long face?" the man replies with "I have AIDS."

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To murder your whole family.

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A man runs over a woman wth his car. Whose fault was it? The man because he should be driving on the roads, not in the kitchen.

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why did the man come out of the closet? because the dark scares him and it smelled like moth balls

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? The number varies based on the amount of skill and understanding each infant has in using the paintbursh and red paint.

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worst name for a club in alaska club baby seal

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How do you get a nun pregnant? You have sex with her.

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Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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What did the pickle say to the cucumber? I am you from the future!

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Andrew Wang getting a girlfriend.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson was a child molester.

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Why did the kid fail the test? Because he was retarded.

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live babies

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What's worse than heartbreak? Getting run over by a steamroller.

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There are three men in a canoe traveling upstream. One wheel falls off. How many pancakes fit in a doghouse? 9, because ice-cream has no bones.

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Q:Whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead baby? A:The dog has skidmarks in front of it -RDV

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What's the difference between a baby and cheese? I don't like cheese in my sandwiches.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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