What did the star say to the asteroid? Nothing, astral bodies can't talk, you dipshit.

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What came first... the chicken or the egg? How am I supposed to know?

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad at making jokes And your a jew

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

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Knock Knock Who is there? Orange Orange who? Orange-Banana

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How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

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When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

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Poop

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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why did the grandmother forget her grandsons name? she has Alzheimers so she is slowly forgetting all her relatives

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Why did the plane crash The pilot, being an uneducated pilot, crashed the plane as he didn't have proper training, and the whole of the passengers died.

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Why don't women drive more? Because statistically the man offers to drive more frequently

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what do u call blue fluff? blue fluff

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of it's legs.

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What's funnier than 10 dead babies? 11 dead babies.

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Why was a black man in a police car? He is a police officer.

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Q:What did the boy do when his girlfriend cheated on him? A:He broke up with her because cheating is wrong and he deserves better.

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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What do a priest, a rabbi, and an asian have in common? They all don't know each other.

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A Redhead, a Blonde, and a Brunette are all standing on top of a cliff in Ireland. They took a few pictures, and all in all it was a lovely vacation.

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I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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