A man walked into a bar. He got drunk and left.

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Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.

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Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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Why are all the other numbers scared of 7? Beacuse 7 stabbed his mother with a steak knife.

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Whats the difference between a red cup and a blue cup. Ones red and the other is blue.

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David Cameron

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how do you piss off a dyslexic? give him a crossword puzzle

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Awe the sky is crying.... No it's peeing

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A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

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What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

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what's the difference between a virginia, and steve keen? a virginia is,nt a knob

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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How do you know when everybody on a plane crash is dead ? When your the only one who walked out

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary

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What is black and white and red all over? Interracial sex partners with smallpox.

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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You see that dog over there with no tail? You know what that means, don't you? What? Someone cut it off.

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A dinosaur walks into the bar, everyone panics in fear and confusion because it is a dinosaur and it's weird.

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what's longer than my shlong? .... nothing

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How can you make a Russian happy? Giving him two tickets for him and his wife to Disneyworld.

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Jerry: Hi what's your name? Bob: My name is bob. Jerry: Bob, nice to meet you, my name is Jerry. Bob: Nice to meet you Jerry.

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Ol-ive

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Jack, John, Justin, Joseph and Jimmy walk into a bar. They order a pint of beer and start wondering what their names have in common.

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"CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!" -Spongebob

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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