What is my cats favorite college? Harvard

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Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

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A clown attends a childs birthday party. He molests 4 children and kills the others. Then leaves.

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

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What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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Q: What do you get when a black man dates a white lady? A: A perfectly acceptable relationship.

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Don't read this or I'll be angry ...…...... Darn you...

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What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

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Whats worst than reading the 8th anti joke that ends with the Holocaust? The one where it ends with someone getting hit by a fridge for the 9th time.

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What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

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What did the cat say to the dog before chasing each other You have a nice looking ass

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

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why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

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What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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