So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order some wine and have an enjoyable evening.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You. You who? Fuck you.

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Best reaction to Anti-humor joke me: whats green and has wheels Friend: idk Me: Grass i lied about the wheels Friend:wow dick

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

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An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What's more boring than watching grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

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How many dead guys does it take to build a shed? None. The contractor did it for 40 dollars an hour using maple wood.

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Mexicans don't use lightbulbs because they can't afford them.

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Whats 2 Plus 2? God Just Solve It.

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Yo momma so hairy she needs to shave herself.

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In soviet Russia...things are different

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What is yellow, has wheels, and lies on its back? A school bus in a terrible accident.

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A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

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Why did the 15 year old commit suicide? Because his parents and 3 sisters died in a car accident and he went to live with his uncle, who constantly raped him.

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Your momma's so stupid she stuck a power cable up her ass. Shortly after she died

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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What's black an white and red all over? Two dead babies, one African American and one Caucasian split in half by a chainsaw.

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Why did the accountant die?A terrorist put a bomb under his desk.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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What's worse than dropping an ice-cream cone? A dead baby. What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than two dead babies? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Dropping two ice-cream cones.

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Bartender asks her, "why the long face?". She tells him it's from her parent's genes.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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