Two latino men are drinking at a bar. Suddenly, one man falls off his barstool, unconscious. Later that day, he was diagnosed with pancreatitis, and died never having dealt with his severe alcoholism.

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What's big fat and hairy? Peter

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Are you from Africa because YOU GOT AIDS

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Mary had a little lamb, But it couldn't stop her from being raped.

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I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a Playground in her back yard? Neither did she.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a shovel 17 times

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

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What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

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Twilight is so bad, I read it and personally didn't like it as a book.

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Whats worse than suicide? death

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What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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how do you confuse a blonde do nothing

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why'd the chicken committed suicide?? to get to the other side

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What hurts like hell? HELL

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? He said "Get in the car".

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Why did your mom fall off the swing? I shot him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To return to the roost he had recently escaped.

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What has two legs, but can't walk? Half a dog.

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What do you do when life gives you Oranges? You make lemonade and life wonders how you did it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops