So this guy filled with blood, right? This caused his veins to protrude and him to bleed strongly when he cut his wrists with razors later that night- because of his struggle with depression and substance abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a cow with no legs A cow with no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Person 1: I need an adult.... Person 2: I am an adult. Person 1: I need another adult... Person 2: My friend's an adult too. Person 1: I need a third adult Person 2: GOD UR NEEDY!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two latino men are drinking at a bar. Suddenly, one man falls off his barstool, unconscious. Later that day, he was diagnosed with pancreatitis, and died never having dealt with his severe alcoholism.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

When it comes ro the zodiac my grandmother was a cancer and... She ws killed by... A giant crab

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the boy fail his midterm? he didnt study.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's big fat and hairy? Peter

thumb_up thumb_down +10

how do you see the difference between a ceiling and a floor? people dont walk on a ceiling

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what happened to the little girl when she crossed the line she was shot. shes mexican

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Did you know Helen Keller had a Playground in her back yard? Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Twilight is so bad, I read it and personally didn't like it as a book.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats worse than suicide? death

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a shovel 17 times

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Mary had a little lamb, But it couldn't stop her from being raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Are you from Africa because YOU GOT AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops