Excuse me waiter! What the hell is this fly doing on my soup? I believe it's swimming on it, sir.

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what do call a car full of people on the side of the road? a cool explosion waiting to happen

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Q: What did the Mexican say to the other Mexican? A: To get to the other side.

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DON'T OPEN IT IT'S PANDORA'S BOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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War horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'why the long film?'

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Why does Rupert the Bear wear chequered trousers? Because that's how the creator originally drew him.

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When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

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Why was the guy not asleep Because he was awake

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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What do call a spoon that doesn't work? Broken.

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A duck walks into a grocery store. He looks at the shopkeeper, who then grabs a broom and shoos him back outdoors.

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A white man walks into a bar. Then he gets a beer.

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How can you tell if your roomate is gay? If he gets an erection when you have anal sex with him.

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Subject A: Knock Knock! Subject B: *silence* Subsequently, Subject A dejectedly walks home and hangs himself.

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Why didn't the boy go to the bathroom? His mother was taking a well deserved bath.

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What's black, white, and red all over? And interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

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How do you make a baby stop crying?you scream at it and throw it at wall

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Your mother is so ugly that her physical appearance causes her to have a low self-esteem.

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one

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When is a door not a door? When it has yet to be created from its base components.

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Jimmy went for a walk in the jungle, and he got lost!!

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Chuck Norris isn't afraid of the dark. Because he's a grown man, and most grown men aren't afraid of the dark.

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I have a dirty joke. Yesterday I fell in the mud.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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