What did the doctor say to his patient? You have 2 weeks to live.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -48

A blind man walks into a bar... He tragicly attracts aids and dies as the bar is shut down for health purposes

thumb_up thumb_down -50

What is blue and roles about on the floor A baby playing with a plastic sack

thumb_up thumb_down -56

What's sad about a guy jumping off a cliff? The cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

A rabbi, a nun, and a homosexual walk into a bar. They proceed to get drunk, and party like its 1972. Oh yeah. And your dad was just killed by a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Who will win in a fight Chuck Norris or Chuck Norris? I don't even know who he is -Lets go METS!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -62

What is the difference between your mom and a vacuum? The vacuum does not use your mom to clean the floor since it is an inanimate object and can not control people.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

why was the fork in the wall? Why would a fork be in a wall?

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What's white and horny? A unicorn

thumb_up thumb_down +41

You know what's funny? You got AIDs

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, the bear turns to the rabbit and says "I have colon cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Whats red, black and brown? My anus after a Friday night

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a women.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A Chinese man, a Mexican man and an African man walk into an American bar. None of them know any English and can not order a drink. They walk out promptly, frustrated by the difficulties of living in a strange new world where they don't speak the native language.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Shltskc gw? G

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +29

a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops