Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

Your momma is so ugly that when she stepped on the mirror, it broke.

Q: What does Jerry Sandusky and bills have in common? A: They both come in the mail

Whats faster than a black guy with a tv? His brother who is a dentist and drives a fast sports car.

I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

Great ideas: Go to your facebook account and type in: Man, I am gonna suicide right now, bye! Moral: Now if you do it as well, nah, dont do it, seriously... Just type it!

Poker face

Why did the hooker fall out of the tree? Because she was dead

A gay man walks into a pregnant woman

What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

What's the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney.

why did the black guy fall off a cliff? because he was a zombie

Why didn't the mexican make the basketball team? He had never practiced and was overweight

What do you call a pig that does karate? By its name. Pigs are often referred to by something regarding the 'Oink' sound that they make. Perhaps in this instance, the pigs name was Oinky. However, this is only a supposition. The range of names is really too wide to make a fair prediction.

Q:What did the boy do when his girlfriend cheated on him? A:He broke up with her because cheating is wrong and he deserves better.

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

I wouldn't consider the Titanic sinking to be a disaster, ????It is better down where it is wetter under the sea! ????.

A Redhead, a Blonde, and a Brunette are all standing on top of a cliff in Ireland. They took a few pictures, and all in all it was a lovely vacation.

What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

What happened to the kids bike? It broke when he got hit by a bus

roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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