“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? no. He didn't either.

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas?? Nobody knows because he had no arms, therefore he could not open any presents.

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There once was a man from Nantucket He decided to sail to Portland Now he lives in Portland.

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Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? He's dead.

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A blonde asks, "How come i cant get this to go in there?" However no one replies because no one is there.

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How do you make a dead baby float? Two scoops of vanilla ice cream and two scoops of dead baby.

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Why did the balck man sit at the back of the bus? Because all the other seats were taken.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

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what does the doctor do when he tells you you have aids? he laughs and says "hahahahahhaha sucks for you, i dont!"

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What do you call a murderer who killed a black man. kkk

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roses are blue violets are red dont judge me

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what did the monitor say to the boy? Im a Monitor

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What do you give the person who has everything? A 20$ gift voucher

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Roses are red Oranges are orange Nothing rhymes with orange Forever alone

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roses are red voilets are red bushes are red trees are red HOLY SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!!!!

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I have a gun. Get in the car.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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why couldn't the girl sit down? she didn't have a butt.

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What did the man with a colostomy bag say after his home was destroyed in a fire? At least all my shit’s in one place.

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Whats the difference between a bench and a black man? A bench is an inanimate object incapable of speech, emotion, or thought process.

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What is the worst joke to tell a Orphan? Knock Knock Who's there Not your parents ( Man than slams door in little girls face)

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Why does Ray Charles always smile? Because he doesn't know he's black.

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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