Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

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Why do people make fun of Laquesha? Because she's white.

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How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

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How many Women's Rights activists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They can't change anything.

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how much swag could a swagchuck chuck, if a swagchuck could chuck swag?

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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Why wasn't the black man served at the bar? Because they didn't serve his kind there... Did I say black guy? I meant to say a horse, wait, did I say bar? I meant the barn, yes, a horse walks into a barn but they couldn't serve him because he wasn't tamed

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A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

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Why did the KFC worker dislike his job? He was paid lower than minumum wage due to the plummeting economy.

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Why was the lady afraid of rocks? Because her husband was stoned.

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What separates man from animal? Divorce.

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

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Why does everyone treat Jesus as some sort of saint for making five thousand people bread, when Hitler made six million people toast?

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Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall? A: Fish don't have vocal cords that allow them to speak in a way discernable by humans, and if they did, it would just sound garbled and bubbly due to their being underwater.

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whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

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What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

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What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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What did the man say when he lost his car? Where the fuck did my car go

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Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

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How much does a dead baby weight? the same amount when it was alive!

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Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

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A muslim and a jew walk into a bar. The muslim proceeds to detonate the bomb he had strapped to his chest, killing himself and dozens of bar patrons.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops