Why did mallisa get to go to the bar instead of jeremy... jeremy has prostate cancer and he needs to be examined every 2 1/2 minuites plus he's 7 years old.

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A man is at the doctor's office and the doctor says to the man: "I'm sorry sir, you have AIDS and Alzheimer's disease." The man says: "Well, at least I don't have AIDS!"

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Q: why couldn't anyone hear hellen keller when she fell off a cliff? A: she was mute.

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What do you call a black women serving 60 years in prison? A prisoner.

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What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? One comes back from camp.

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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Why was the girl crying? Because I raped her

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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How do catch Lady GaGa's attention? Have a Bad Romance

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How did the corpse cross the road? They can't cross the road they're dead.

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy wuzzy had cancer.

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? I could explain officer. You see, I was jogging and I was looking for my dog and she went on to me and I told her to stop but she wouldn't listen. I'm innocent I tell you! Innocent!

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Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

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What's long, hard and full of semen? A penis

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Q: What did the hooker say to the priest? A: That was a wonderful sermon. I look forward to next Sunday's church service.

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Why did the christmas tree smell like shit? because pavaroti used it as a dildo

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Did you hear the one about the guy who couldnt find his shoes? No? ok ill talk to someone who will get the reference

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who is an indian that can not shoot a bow and arrow? David

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What's long,black and wrapped in something yellow ?? A twix

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Why did one sausage become scared of the other sausage? The first Sausage said " Hello " and the second Sausage said " OMG a talking sausage!!!" ...Jk sausages dont talk.

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Why is Coldplay really big in Japan? They're tall guys.

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Guy1: Hey! Do you want to hear a potassium joke? Guy2: Sure! Guy1: K

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Your mother is so morbidly obese that she greatly exceeds the necessary recommended serving sizes of each meal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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