what do you call Tim Tebow on a bike with a clown hat on? Tim, Mr. Tebow whatever you want

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What do you get when you put a woman in a room with 4 guys? She gets Gang Banged.

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Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

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Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

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why did the plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

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Q:What do you call a mexican witha clean record? A: Impossible

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I am pleased and honored to hear you speak that beautifully straight from your heart Nero, you are without equal, unmatched. And he who is unmatched, also stands alone.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

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A man walks into a bar. His crippling alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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Elise's parents have four children. The first's name is April, the second's name is May, the third's name is June. What's the fourth children's name ? July. Elise is adopted, and thus does not count.

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Two horses were discussing their racing records. The first said, "In my whole life I had won ten races." The second horse says, "Well, I've won twelve of those!" A greyhound trotting by chimes in, "Not bragging guys, but in my career, I've won twenty!" "Unbelievable!" exclaimed both horses. "It's a talking dog!"

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What were the murderer's last words before he was put to death by electric chair? "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NNNNNFHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.................................................................................................................." He then defecated in his pants.

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A coyote walks into a bar, because human development has rapidly destroyed his natural habitat. He mauls three patrons.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think you're smart But I've got a plan for you.. Leaves are green Stems are too You lied to me Now I will shoot you.. Violets are blue Roses are red You made me angry And now you are dead.

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What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheelchair

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Whats the difference between eating an egg and an abortion? Think about it.

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How do you confuse your algebra teacher? Tell her to prove that she exists.

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what's the difference between a zebra and a horse They are spelled differently

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Why did the blonde stay in the five-star hotel? She had enough money.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

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Roeses Are Red Violets Are Blue He's The One For Me And Not For You, And If You Try To Take My Place I Will Take My Fist And Smash Your Face(:

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this is a haiku i have no idea where i am going with .... this

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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