“It doesn’t take a lot to turn me on” – William Deane

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a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

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Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

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Why did the train stop? - It was surrounded by elephants

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What did the black guy say when after he jumped in the pool? Wow, its kinda chilly.

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How many owls can you fit in a bath tub?

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Why aren't fish good at telling jokes? Their neural structure isn't capable of processing languages or creating a method of communicating with humans, thus they both do not know any jokes since they are incapable of understanding the concept of humour.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Interupting Doctor? Interupting Doc... You have cancer

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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A man walks into a bar and sees that the pianist is just twelve inches tall. He asks the bartender, ''How come you have a 12-inch pianist?'' The bartender replies, ''We have a genie in the back room. He'll answer all your wishes, but be careful, because he has a little trouble hearing.'' The man walks into the back room and asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie then gives him a million ducks. The man comes out and tells the bartender that the genie misheard his wish. The bartender says, ''Come on, now! Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?!''

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate the chicken.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was involved in a homicide at the Children's Hospital resulting in death row right away and was involved in the killing of 12 other numbers on last Tuesday.

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Two drunk drivers got in a car crash They both died

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How do you blindfold a Chinese man? With a blindfold.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Q: How many Jewish people can fit in a four door sedan? A: 4, or possibly 5, depending on the sedan's optional seating, and depending on whether the gentleman are comfortable enough with each other to scoot closer to allow a 5th friend to join in.

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your skull would make a nice pen holder

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Why didnt suzy give mary i high five? because i cut off her hand

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Two Mexicans are at the border and want to cross it. How do they cross it? Illegally

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? Because Suzie was a cucumber.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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