A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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You decide, drink or drive. But don't do all 3 at the same time.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Why was Helen Keller depressed? She was deaf and blind.

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Two guys walk into a bar. They are knocked out and rushe to hospital because the bar was metal.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, but if the ladder is shaky, you might need another to hold it up.

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What is green, red, and goes 70 mph? A frog in a blender

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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A man walks into a pole He breaks his nose And bleeds to death

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Q. The farmer said where's my bucket A. Somewhere

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Your mom is so fat she probably has a body mass index of between 25 and 30 which is considered to be "overweight" but paradoxically is associated with fewer health risks by medical professionals.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped 9.

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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

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A blonde was taking a Math exam, so she brought her Asian boyfriend with her. It turns out they were going to his father's retirement party afterwards.

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Albert <3 Hunter

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It's not ok to have intercourse with a woman who say's "No!" But what about "Let go of me!"?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

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i hate non minorities!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting cow wh- SHUT UP!

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Why was the teenage girl bleeding from her vagina? Because I had shot her in her vagina with my gun earlier that day.

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What does a grandmas vagina taste like? I don't know -- nor do I want to.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

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What do you tell your friend who has been cheating on his wife? You're a terrible human being, and she deserves better!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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