why aren't black people real? they are. just because they are less visible at night makes no difference.

A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks "Why the long face?" The horse takes offense and replies "I was born like this."

How do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

What's the difference between a snake, and a lawyer? A snake cannot comprehend law, nor can one attend law school and set up an office. They are also different species.

How do you make a tree angry Overall trees have no sense of emotion therefore it is impossible to anger a tree.

How many babies can you fit in an oven? Depends how hungry you are.

What's worse than being shot? Being shot twice.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

what do Russians play? Tetris, what else?

You decide, drink or drive. But don't do all 3 at the same time.

Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

Whats better than 32 dead babies stapled to 1 tree? - 1 dead baby stapled to 32 trees

A man walks into a pole He breaks his nose And bleeds to death

Justin Bieber

A tortoise went for a run. It took him two hours to get around the corner.

What did Osama Bin Laden Say to Obama when they met? Nothing Osama is Dead

jamie and danel texta like to make love to each other using a gerbal as a toy when they make love they get a african covered in jelly to help them.

Why did the Jewish man stop to pick up a quarter off the filthy street? He saw a homeless man begging on the street corner and thought that he could give him the spare change he found.

What do you call a straight A student that takes 6 Vicodin's, 5 Percocet's, and 7 Adderalls? I don't know, but he will most likely die of drug overdose.

do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

Why did Dr. Phil fall of the swing? He couldn't figure out the couples problem.

If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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