A man walks into a bar. [Insert punchline here.]

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you know what sucks more than getting raped by a gorilla? getting raped by two gorillas.

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What do you call a contraption made of a wooden rod attached to three strings attached to three rocks? A completely useless and pointless invention.

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a man eats at a restaraunt alone, because all the people he loved died in a tragic boating accident while he was out of town on a business trip

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Why did Jack and Jill fall down the hill? Because they were donuts

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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Whats the difference between a duck? Yellow bills.

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Why are video games fun? To get a mushy brain :P

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because she had been forcibly removed from her place of food preparation by a large angry mob of her neighbours who thought she was a wtitch and were now going to burn at the stake. It is Salem, november 1643.

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How do you make the perfect anti-joke? Don't tell it.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He didn't. He slowly ate it on a warm day although it's taste was somewhat of a disappointment.

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What do you call a man who just died 5 minutes ago? Dead.

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roses are black violets are gray im color blind

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What is the difference between Jews and the boyscouts? The boyscouts come home from camp.

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Why did the chicken cross the road To go to KFC

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Women's rights

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your amazing just the way you are... even though you have aids.

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why did the arrow hit the knee? the same reason pigs cant fly.

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Why did the kid fail the test? Because he was retarded.

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- Knock Knock - Whos there? - No one

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What's black and white and red all over? Lots of things, including certain ugly clothing.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Somebody call animal control, there's a horse in the bar." The horse is then taken away and made into glue and dog food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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