What do yo call SQUIRAL!!!!

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live babies

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Why did the guy read anti jokes? because there funny

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Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a Mafia boss so they put him in prison.

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 killed 6's family

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There are 2 muffins sitting in an oven. Neither of the muffins say anything because muffins can't talk.

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Roses are red Roses are red What is big Cherenets head

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arse

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This is a haiku The second line is longest Hippopotamus.

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Why was the school teacher crying? Because after 12 minutes of watching each one of your students be crushed to death by an 18 wheeler, anyone would cry.

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A black man, a mexican man and a chinese man all walk into a supermarket. Together, they purchase ingredients to make a delicious vegetarian lasagna. That night, they make the lasagna and greatly enjoy it together.

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potato

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose fell on your head." ..."MMMBBWWAAAAAGGGHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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A man saw a dinosaur. He probably watched it on the television because dinosaurs have been extingt for a very long time.

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This is not a joke.

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How do u save someone from dieing of cancer? U shoot them in the head

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Two oranges walking down the street, one says to the other, "Where do you live?". The other replies "I'm not telling you, you'll steel my washing"

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What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

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Why did the plain crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Chuck Norris is a normal man.

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A man walks into a bar, orders a few drinks and becomes drunk. the bartender calls a taxi and the man is driven home.

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Oh...okay, good.

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What do you call a man with no legs? A paraplegic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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