Whats big, hairy, and super long? My big toe you pervert.

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What does the time bomb say to the idiot? Nothing, time bombs are inanimate objects and therefore can't speak.

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One, it's just a lightbulb

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Shit.

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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What did the lion say the the zebra? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak and therefore could not make conversation with said zebra, hunted it down, killed it, and shared it with his pride of 27.

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what are you eating under there? oh a sandwich, its actually really good.... want a bite? yea thanks! yum yum

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Why did Hitler cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways. Only after practicing proper safety procedure did he venture across the busy thoroughfare to retrieve his asthma medication from his car.

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What's the difference between roast soup and pea beef? Nothing because neither of them are physically possible; you can't roast soup and you can't pee beef

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

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How do you know that a woman is having an orgasm? They go like OH YAH OH YAH:D

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An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

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why are elephants gray? to tell them apart from blueberries.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot turned into a loaf of bread.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Hypothetical questions are a waste of time and you are not achieving your full potential by reading this during work.

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What do you call a man who just died 5 minutes ago? Dead.

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How do you make the perfect anti-joke? Don't tell it.

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What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

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What do you call a black Jew that is also a crippled midget with no family except for an autistic brother? His original name that his mother gave him at birth.

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How do you make $10,000 in 1 day? I don't know, but I wish I did.

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What's pink and smells like a red rose? A pink rose.

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What do you call a used garden tool? A dirty hoe (not ho)

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Why did the kid fail the test? Because he was retarded.

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Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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