Q. A black man and a Mexican are in the back of a car. Who's driving? A. The police officer

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A man walks into a room with a sly grin on his face, "Tom, have I got a joke to tell YOU!" Tom hurriedly shoos Susie into her bedroom and tells her to lock the door and not open it no matter what. Tom turns to the man, "I've told you twice before to never come back here, I'm beginning to think that you probably don't take what I say very seriously because you might have some sort of chemical imbalance or something in your head, or maybe you're obsessed with my family or something!" The man hangs his head in shame and agrees with Tom, but Tom still had to do something about the intruder so he called the cops. The cops took him to get psychologically analyzed, but Tom didn't know this because he only cared that his daughter Susie was safe and he also doesn't have access to the testing facility's records. Tom is an only father.

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What's a four letter word that ends with "rape"? Stop.

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Why did the man smile at his wife? Because she had a silly looking face, like a fish.

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why did the man walk into the metal pole? because hes blind and suffers from cancer.

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What is the siilarity between Justin beiber and pinoccio? they both waant to be real boys

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What's the last thing that went through John F Kennedy's head? a bullet

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Two black people passed me in an alley at night...... They said hi

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What do you call a mix between a beaver and a mammal? You can't mix beavers and mammals, and even if I had said a platypus that would not have been funny.

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Q: Why cant Helen Keller drive? A: Because shes dead.

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Wanna hear a "Friday" parody? No, that would be copyright infringement.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Tie her up and force her to watch as you brutally murder her entire family.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He was buried under 6ft of solid earth.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? Evolution.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have candy GET IN THE VAN NOW BEFORE SOMEBODEY SEES US!

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A boy with red hair is happy.

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What do you get when you put a dead baby and some nails in a blender? A dead baby and some nails

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What's worse than seeing your goldfish die? Watching your grandfather have a stroke.

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a Mormon knocked on my front door three times, and i took three seconds to answer, whe shook hands for three seconds. how many dead kittens can fit in my blender?

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

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What smells like curry and bombs? A dead Indian

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Oh...okay, good.

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What is the difference between a joke and an antijoke? An antijoke does not have a punch line.

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A man sees a giant talking frog walk into a store. He later dies due to an overdose of LSD.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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