What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing because they are on opposite sides of the earth

thumb_up thumb_down +25

GRAAAAAAAR.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson was a child molester.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the old man fart?? Because he had gas

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How many gays does it take to turn a lightbulb? 1

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Raped

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the sloth cross the road? To murder your whole family.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

>>-------------[Knee]---------->>>

thumb_up thumb_down +19

There once was a man from Peru Who fell asleep in a canoe He got a slight case of sunburn which improved later after applying some ointment.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A catholic priest invited one of Sunday school students to his house one night. They watched a movie and the boy was home before his bedtime.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is long, erect, and 12 inches long? A ruler.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red Violets are red Everything is red If you are dead... Or a potato

thumb_up thumb_down +15

did you ever see a butter fly?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why did the chicken cross the road? who knows, we cannot read an animals (or a human for that matter) mind. Perhaps, though unlikely as he's a chicken, he saw a friend across the road or a child who wants to stroke him. Perhaps he is trying to escape being used as a circus act or being cooked for a supermarket. We cannot complain if the chicken wishes for a better life. Anyway, we shall never know why the chicken decided to cross the road, and never will, as it is dead after being hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: Whats worse than having a dead car battery? A: Going to prison and getting raped by a black guy

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did German shower heads have eleven holes? Because jews only have ten fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

whats worst than reading youtube comments? Panic at the disco

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I have a left shoe. I have a right shoe. I have two feet

thumb_up thumb_down +13

The WNBA.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock knock Nobody's home.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do apples taste like? Apples.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

" I can't here you it's too dark!"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

An Englishman, Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a pub where they are presented with a situation, the Englishman and Scotsman react appropriately but the Irishman does something foolish.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

whats funnier than the boy with no arms and legs getting cancer? lebron playing basketball

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops