What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing because they are on opposite sides of the earth

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A businessman walks out of a store with his new haircut he was bald.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

why are elephants gray? to tell them apart from blueberries.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the policeman say to the man accused of murder? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He didn't. He slowly ate it on a warm day although it's taste was somewhat of a disappointment.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's a Mexican who walks down the street called? A pedestrian.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: Why was the blonde so dumb? A: Because she wasn't properly educated.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock Knock COME IN!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: What do you call a group of asians riding their bikes while carrying large bags of merchandise filled with an ample amount of video games? A: Obviously, a few enviromentally-friendly entrepreneurs who managed to make enough of a profit via their established buisness to the extent that they could buy what they required and get some other desired items as well.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock knock Who's there? Me. Idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's brown and sticky? ...poop....and refried beans

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's the difference between a zombie, a vampire and a werewolf? One is a zombie, one is a vampire and one is a werewolf.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

>>-------------[Knee]---------->>>

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

thumb_up thumb_down +16

There are three men in a canoe traveling upstream. One wheel falls off. How many pancakes fit in a doghouse? 9, because ice-cream has no bones.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Brienna Chladek (515)556-4811. Call me;) anytime I'm a teenager:) xoxo

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "what do you want to drink" the guy says "a blue moon"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Wanna hear a joke? Womens' rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's brown and sticky? A stick

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red, I have a phone, nobody texts me, forever alone...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you have safe sex? Cut your own balls off

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between a baby and cheese? I don't like cheese in my sandwiches.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

when does the phrase "time heals all wounds" not apply? to people with fatal wounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops