- Anti Joke

Why did the blonde run into a screen door? Because screen doors are difficult to see when one is running at full speed

A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer, the bartender quickly takes out a shot gun and shoots the horse because he is secretly dealing horse meat to tescos

Kerry Katona becomes independent.

What did Timmothy get when he got back from his vacation in a tropical destination? Malaria.

Why did the black guy not like oreos? because he is a very health concious person and knowes that too much of a bad thing can make you fat.

What's orange, brown, and blue? An orange, brown, and blue object.

An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walked into a bar. The Englishman ordered a lager, the Irishman ordered a Guiness, and the Scotsman ordered tap water.

Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

What did Helen Keller say? Obcojbcidjbcidjbdijcbd

What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A Pogo Stick

What do you call black people in a pool? Healthy

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is nonsentient, generally heavier and not necessarily light-dark brown colored, whereas the black man is fully capable of thinking and usually has dark toned skin.

“Ok, time for bed” … is what I said to the empty living-room. It was getting late, and the internet no longer amused me. I picked up my cell phone, rooted through the couch cushions until I located the remote, and turned off the television that had been nothing but background noise for the last few hours. I made sure the front and back doors were securely locked, walked around the back of the couch, and turned off the only light. A tap on the screen of my phone created just enough light to keep from busting a toe on an errant table leg. Because my cats have an evil tendency to lie in the middle of the hallway, I aimed the small amount of light from my phone directly in front of my tired and shuffling feet. I’d only covered a small distance before I knew, from many nights of this same regimen, that I was getting close to the bedroom door. At this point my arm started the slow upward arc that would eventually illuminate the now pitch-black opening to the comfort of my room. The light emanating from my cell was quite dim, and this action had become quite rote, so my arc was about waist level before I noticed a slight variation of the familiar black of the open doorway. At that point, and in a disturbingly short amount of time, five things happened nearly simultaneously: My arm, the arm carrying the phone, continued to rise in its predetermined arc, having been an object in motion which would stay in motion. I released a small gasp and exclaimed to my husband that his sudden appearance in the dark had startled the breath from me. I remembered that my husband was at work. The light arc reached its apex on a face of protruding nail-like teeth. A face suspiciously bereft of eyes, with a gaping, oozing, bloody pit where a nose should have been. The light went out.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Why did the blonde run into a screen door? Because screen doors are difficult to see when one is running at full speed

A wild Snorlax appeared crushing several members of the community

Q: Where does Cher sit? A: I have no idea.

a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

What did the Asian man say to the taxi driver? Diarrrhea

A guy punched himself. He then said ouch.

What do you call a man who's a gynecologist, painter and respected martial arts champion? Talented.

What did robin say to batman before they got I the car........ Get in the car.

How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

Q: what's green and fluffy? A: green fluff

roses are red. violetss are black. a knife would go good in your back