Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

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Why did the cookie shader Because someone dropped it

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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What is the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is a piece of wood, while the black man is a human being.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Caner.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

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one day a white guy was in detroit. it was very strange. nothing happened

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What has red dots and is yellow all over A poisonous frog

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Why did Romney loose the election? Because Obama had more votes

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We could have had it all Rolling in the deep You have my heart inside of your hand As you've just now inexplicably ripped it out of my ribcage.

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An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

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Little Jack Horner sat in a corner, Dead.

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So yesterday i walked into a bar, so what?

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Why didn't the boy eat his vegetables? he was dead

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- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

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What's the difference between me and an animal? I'm human

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Potassium? K.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped 9.

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Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

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Why didnt suzy give mary i high five? because i cut off her hand

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I touch myself at night.

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If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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