- Anti Joke

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

why did the chicken cross the road? He saw his family getting murdered and tried to stop it but got hit in the process

Your mama's so fat.... Her cerial bowl came with a lifeguard

Whats the difference between a girl and a guy? one receives and one delivers.

What do you call a black man holding a stone with bloody hands A hard working stone mason

A man is walking on the beach and notices a shiny brass lamp on the ground. He picks it up, polishes it and then sells it for a reasonable amount of money at a local pawnbroker.

A lesbian couple, a straight couple, and a gay couple walk into a bar. They enjoy their drinks and camaraderie.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

When there's something strange in your neighborhood, who ya gonna call? The Police. There's something strange in your neighborhood.

Why was Timmy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, the mystery is how mice can get inside a lightbulb.

What did the women get after valentines day? An abortion.

What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

What does a sock, pillow and a lamp have in common? -they all live underwater expect for the sock, pillow and lamp -Matt

I got stopped for speeding the other day. The policeman said I had to pay a £50 fine. I was gutted. However, later that night I had amazing sex with my wife, which helped me to take my mind off things a bit.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why did Ben Franklin Invent Bifocals? He's a jive turkey.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

Q: Why did the black man drown? A: Because he couldn't swim.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

Roses are grey Violets are grey Colorblindness isn't funny And neither are you

What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

What do you call a black person born in America? American.