What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? Pizza does not scream when it goes in the oven.

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. I don't see why there should be more.

What happed when the homeless shelter went out of business? -Everyone went hungry and died.

What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and looks like a duck? Nothing. Ducks cannot speak, therefore this description negates all known living organisms.

100% of the people who go to school die. What about the people who don't go to school? They die too.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

Did you hear about the kidnapping in New York? He woke up.

Hi I'm makena. I'm a cynical asshole

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

How does Justin Bieber remove a condom? he farts

A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

why did the man reverse time? because his girlfriend died,also this man was super

Roses are Red, Violets are blue Did you think I'd actually cry over you? I said I loved you You believed it was true Well guess what baby You just got played too! ??????

What should you never give to your friends as a wedding present? An old plastic bag full of rubbish.

What characterizes a good joke? The lack of a punch line.

Q. What do you call a retarted guy? A. Whatever his name happens to be

your mom was so fat that she died.

you can either take the test now or on monday. (hand movement)

a chicken walks into a bar and gets drunk. the locals then proceed to tell the police because the chicken was harrassing people after he got drunk

How did the cookie monster die? Diabidies

KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

Why did the chicken commit suicide? No one knows, he didn't leave a note.

What's worse than getting murdered? Getting murdered twice? - Louis

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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