A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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Why do zebras have stripes? I don't know.

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A: What dose God listen to? B: Slayer. A: Trick Question, God=Slayer

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because pterodactyls along with all other dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is an advisor who assists people by representing them on legal matters.

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A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on suicide The librarian gives him permission and he leaves the library with the book in hand.

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Why does Rupert the Bear wear chequered trousers? Because that's how the creator originally drew him.

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Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

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Whats worse than finding an actual joke on anti-jokes? A.I.D.S.

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Wha'ts the difference between Justin Beiber and a piece of hot muff garbage? Fart triscuits.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the house. knock knock. who's there? the chicken!

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Why was the guy not asleep Because he was awake

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1:Your reading my text. 2:Your wondering what the point is. 3:Your getting angry. 5:Your going to click thumbs down. 6:But wait! You didn't realize that there was no number 4. 7:Your checking it. 9:Your smiling. 10:Your smiling so much you forgot to check for number 8. 11:Your checking it. 12:Jokes on you.

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An SQL query walks into a bar, sees two tables and asks if it can join them.

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How do you stop an aboriginal from drowning? Take your foot off his head...

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I am a dog.

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there are three women witch one is married? the one with the ring on its finger

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Q.Why did Bruno Mars marry the blond? A.Because it was a beautiful night and he was looking for something DUMB to do.

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Who's the slut of the alphabet? C.

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Did you hear the one about the girl who had three nipples? Neither did I.

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Q. Why did the little girl drop her ice cream? A. She dropped it as she got into the van

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Paper or plastic? Yes...

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why was the black man running away from the convenient store? He was going for a jog and it just so happened that he passed by the store

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, cause they are walls.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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