What do you get when you put a blue bucket in the red sea? it gets wet

Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

Why did the kid lose his nose? because his brother chopped it off with an axe.

roses are red violets are blue, were stuck to gather like superglue in tell you get the flu, then I'm not touching you :)

Get a life besides thumbing down statements telling you advice.........

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? He said "Get in the car".

What's facial hair? Hair that slowly progresses to grow out of certain areas on your face.

Customer Service "May I help you?" "Yes."

Q: why was the gay guy sad A: Becasue he was stright.

What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to suck my dick.

Knock. Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Are you mentally handicapped? Bananas are fruit.

How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

why did the man beat his wife? why not?

Yo mamma is so dumb, she bought a Wii and was satisfied with her purchase

What did the young Muslim man have attached to him? A book-bag, it was is his first week college and he eager for an education.

Why did your mom fall off the swing? I shot him.

Doctor! doctor! I feel like a bridge! That's the least of your problems you've got cancer by ndc

A Duck, a Mexican guy and Helen Keller walk into a bar. The bartender asks "What do each of you want?" The duck doesn't respond because is is a duck. The Mexican guy doesn't respond because he doesn't know English that well. Helen Keller does't respond because she is dead.

What's short, white, and is sick and tired of your shit? A toilet. What's white and killed Elvis? Also a toilet.

Why is it OK to make fun of a deaf person? Because they can't hear.

What is worse than being killed in a car crash? Having your girlfriend in the car with you.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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