What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse than ants in your pants? Uncles.

thumb_up thumb_down

Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q:Whats yellow and on the floor in the bathroom? A: A Rubber Ducky

thumb_up thumb_down

"Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's parents?" "No" "Neither has he"

thumb_up thumb_down

what did Tim get for Valentimes day? nothing, no such day exists. spell check

thumb_up thumb_down

A man with ADD walks into a bar. He then.......Damn Nature, you scary!

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you tell the difference between Lila and derrek ashmore? Oh wait they both have vaginas

thumb_up thumb_down

what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

thumb_up thumb_down

miha kako si?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What does Michael have in common with NASA? Not a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: Whats Brown and sticky A: an eagle except for the brown and sticky part

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Your mom is so poor she can't afford to buy herself nice things.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

W. If I was one thing other then a person why would I be? M. The sun. W. Aww, so I brighten your day? M. No, you're just hard to look at.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Rebecca Black walked into a stadium. There were so many seats to choose from. But, she sat down in the nearest seat she could find and enjoyed the football game.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Neither have I, nobody knew him.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

knock! knock! who's there? the police, your family died in a car crash!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Who would win in a fight between superman and flash? Chuck Norris

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

kathryn atkins

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Since chickens cannot speak, it is difficult to say.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops