What did Queen Victoria say when she saw a zombie? "Quick everybody, run, that is a zombie."

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why did benny go to the 4th grade school nurse? he had a massive erection.

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What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies. I'd rather had the porsche in my garage

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he needed to go home.

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Q: What's the difference between an Indian and a Trampoline. A: You take your shoes off to jump on a Trampoline.

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A kid comes across an injured duck near a lake. Nevermind he doesn't see it he's really high.

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Knock knock! Just kidding.

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How can you tell a baby lost it's voice? It doesn't scream when you staple it to a ceiling fan and turn it on.

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What do you call a bad yo mama joke? your mom

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Knock knock, Who's there? The constable. Your husband was killed in a car crash.

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wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

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Can we still mine for gold in the American River? No, anyone seen mining for gold is considered a hobo and all the gold is cleared out by random people in the 17 century

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How do you fit 76 babies in a bath tub... With a blender. How do you get them back out? With tortilla chips.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a serial-rapist with links to the Black Dragon triad. Yee.

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What did one apple say to the other apple? -Nothing, apples can't talk

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why did the black guy buy magnum condoms? because his white friend knew the cashier and thought it would be awkward for himself to buy them.

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How do you get rid of black people in your back yard? Politely ask them to leave.

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What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff. What's green and fluffy? Green fluff. What's red and fluffy? A kitten that got hit by a truck.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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a read head, a brunet, and a blonde sneak into a merchant ship. security hears some noises and goes on to investigate. all three girls jump into banana sacks. security guard kicks the first sack with the read head in it and she growls like a dog, so the security sees its a dog and keeps on walking. he then kicks the sack with the brunet in it, she goes on to hiss like a cat. so then the security guard kicks the last sack with the blonde in it, and she yells out "bananas!"...the end

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Roses-are-red violets-are-blue Justin's-for -me Not-for-u if-by-chance u-take-my-place I'll-grad-fist &-smash-ur-face

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y r black people noses so big??? A= god had to hold tem somehere to spray paint them

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3 brothers Mohammed, Ahmed and Saahad were on the 09:25 flight from Tehran to New York. They each only carried a rucksack each and a one way ticket. They are Syrian refugees and their parents are dead.

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You no what the biggest lie in history is? Agreeing to the terms and services whenever you sign up for a website

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops