Roses are red, Violets are blue, I touch myself at night.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's worse then failing a math test? Your mom getting shot

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did The Black man have for breakfast? Bran Flakes.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was an animal with a small brain and could not comprehend the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a straight A student that takes 6 Vicodin's, 5 Percocet's, and 7 Adderalls? I don't know, but he will most likely die of drug overdose.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the young girl fall off her bike? Because somebody threw a fridge at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A tortoise went for a run. It took him two hours to get around the corner.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a prostitute with morals? Ironic.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do chicken and babies have in common? They both taste like chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did one ginger say to the other? W are both gingers.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What was in the magical purple teapot? Two dying pelicans.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Mike lost his arms in a car accident. Knock knock Who's there? Not Mike.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the black man kill himself? Because he had a very serious case of depression brought on by his recent divorce

thumb_up thumb_down +15

a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?", the horse incapable of understanding the English language promptly shits on the floor and eats a bar stool.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

She loves me, she dosn't love me, she loves me, the girl walks up to the man and says, she doesn't love me

thumb_up thumb_down +15

a man walks into a desert Obama is there to greet him and they have a nice chicken dinner

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the man give money to a drug dealer? He lost a bet.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops