why did helen keller fall down the stairs A; i pushed her

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why are elephants gray? to tell them apart from blueberries.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A fish walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you give a 90 year old woman a pap smear? You don't

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a man who just died 5 minutes ago? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call someone who can't move their arms or their legs A quadriplegic

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did I say when I fell of THEEeEeeeeeeee...

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you do when you come to a fork in the road? You take it

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's pink and smells like a red rose? A pink rose.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you make $10,000 in 1 day? I don't know, but I wish I did.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the kid fail the test? Because he was retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q; What smells like chicken, tastes like turkey and looks like duck? A; Nothing...dumbass.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What blue and red? poop in a saggy bag

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a serial rapist with a violent temper.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a dragon that doesn't breathe fire? A Griffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Are you well? No, I'm not a well, I'm a person.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what do you call 4 terrorists going off a cliff in a car? A waist because you can fit 2 more in the trunk.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: what do polo bears have for lunch A: iceburger

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A. Knock-knock. B. Who's there? A. Hey, your doorbell's broken.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

penis

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did Jill come "tumbling" down the hill after Jack broke his crown? She fell running on a hill, essentially why Jack broke his crown.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops