I dyed my armpit hair blue yesterday because I wanted to start a new trend. My boyfriend later broke up with me.

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Why is Ian's name Ian? Because he was adopted

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Scream went into the bar. The bartender says," Why the long face?" "..." *facepalm*

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-Knock, knock. -Is it the pizza man? -No. -Then go away.

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Knock knock who's there atch watch who? bless you

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What do you call a kid without any friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

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What's worse than dying in a car wreck with your family? You being the only one that dies.

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what is the difference between my girlfriend and my black pet bunny .... i raped my black pet bunny

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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Jesse uses a prescription shampoo called " greasey poop" because he feels like his hair doesnt look greasy enough. He cries himself asleep every night because he wants a slim body like the rest of the cool kids, so he eats his pain away, which digs him an even deeper hole. the life of Jesse zigenbein is quite tragic to say the least. Please donate 10$ to the "eat ourselves to sleep" campaign

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how do you break up with someone lightly and not hurt their feeling I dont want to hurt your feeling but i hate you

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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why did the boy call the girl a bitch? Because she was beautiful.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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What's the difference between a Toyota Camry and 20 dead babies? I don't have 20 dead babies in my garage.

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What's more boring than watching grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

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Your mamma is so fat that she is undergoing strict diet and exercise in order to reduce the risk of premature death due to health complications.

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Best reaction to Anti-humor joke me: whats green and has wheels Friend: idk Me: Grass i lied about the wheels Friend:wow dick

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting stabbed.

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So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order some wine and have an enjoyable evening.

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A man walks down the street past a flamboyant homosexual male and kills him in a hate crime. This homosexual was Dylan Glogowski

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Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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