What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

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why did the boy fall over? because he was hit by a fridge that fell out of the tree.

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Why was the boy crying? Because him and his sister were sent to an orphanage.

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Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

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Knock Knock Who's there? You know you really should have a safer way of finding out who is really on the other side. Now a days it's just not safe to ask, "who's there". I mean it could have been, Milkman, Plummer, or worst a Land Shark!

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You know whats worse than an anti-joke? Practically Anything.

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What did the red apple say when it saw a black man an irish man, and an asian walk into a bar? nothing apples cant talk.

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What's black, white and red all over? A nun that fell down a flight of stairs

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Q: Why did Suzie fall out the swings? A: She had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.....

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

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What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

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A jewish man walks into a bar, has a drink, and goes home to his wife.

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Hi. P.S: You have aids. P.P.S: Purple penis pumpernickel pie puppets.

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What's the diffence between a pieace of fried chicken and a Jew? A Jew wouldnt scream in a fryer.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do friends and trees have in common? They will fall over if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

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A: Knock Knock.. B: Who's there? A: John B: John Who? A: Shut the hell up, i'm masturbating.

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A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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