What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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What's worse than watching paint dry or grass grow? Watching paint dry on grass.

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What does and elephant and me have in common. Everything, I am an elephant.

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Your mother is so slutty that she seduced me while I was drunk. I'm so sorry.

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man in a gorilla suit with a banana.

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Why do mexicans like tacos? Because tacos are a very well liked food and they happen to taste good

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So the question i got asked in order to post this was: Which one is easiest? and I thought to myself, the slutty one, obviously!!

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why did the elephant cross the road? it was the chickens day off.

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Two rolls are hanging on a wall..... On falls down and the other ones name is Erwin

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Dr.Octagonapus.... BLAAAAAArGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jackalope :)

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Why couldn't the girl eat her pizza? She had no face.

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Knock Knock Who's there May I come in? May I come in who? . . .What's wrong with you can I come in or not?

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What do you call the offspring of an elephant? A baby elephant.

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Q: Why was the black guy afraid of the chainsaw A: It was cutting his arm off

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Michael Jackson walks into a bar No he doesn't. He's dead.

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Do they censor Ass? TESTING TESTING ASS ASS ASS

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Whats The Meaning Of Life? 42. But everyone has their own perception so you have your own answer so why the heck did i write this joke. Oh wait Im writing still. The answer is 42.

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Two men enter a room. Two men and a baby leave the room...

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How does a black man have sex? He inserts his penis into his partners vagina, then slides it out, then inserts it back in, and repeats this motion untill he has reached his climax and ejaculates!

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What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody nose.

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How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

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What's red and black and looks good on a Jew? A bullet wound.

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What's the difference between a pair of slippers and a pair of dead babies? Essentially nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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