Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window? Because it was broken.

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What did the litlle boy get for christmas? The toy which he could only dream about. His father got cancer.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your mum is dead, Just fucking with you! Kelvin Yang.

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What did the customer say to the waiter when he found a fly in his soup? Sorry to bother you on your break, but why didn't I get a fly in MY soup?

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what do you get when you you put a knife in a head? a dead body

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Two babies are playing in a sand box.. They both start crying because they get sand in their eyes

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Why is moral man a great Cerebrity? you would not get it, its too cerebral... Moral: I SAID LEAVE HIM ALONE PLEAAAAAAAAAASE! BUAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHA!

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Why did the girl break her leg? Because I pushed down the staircase.

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

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Japan

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A man walks into a bar. Splash.

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knock knock... who's there? uninterrupted cow uninterrupted cow who?? exactly....

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

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Roses are Red Violets are blue This joke isn't funny And neither are you!

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What should you do if you have a 10 inch penis? Subtly tell the world via an anti-joke

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why is brennan hart a dumbass idk ask his mom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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