A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

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A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

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What did the mother do when she find out her daughter left for the party? Nothing. She realized her daughter was old enough to make mature descions.

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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Did you hear about the kid from Texas? He shot his campus up.

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A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

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rabbits running in my bathroom!

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What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

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whats wores than eating a vag. a gaint vag eating you.

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What did boy with now arms and no legs get for christmas A pogo-stick

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What do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

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how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

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What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

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Bacon makes everything delicious, yes? And coffee makes everything exciting, yes? Put the two together and you get a caffeinated porky roller coaster in your mouth.

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What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

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whats orange and cant talk? an orange

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who is gay wit mon james cornish

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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