Why are friends like trees? If you hack at them repeatedly with an axe, they fall over.

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A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

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what dyu call a bunch of white guys on a bench? the NBA

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an irishman an american and a jihadist get a plane were did they go right through my house

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Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

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a guy walks into a bar.. ouch

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What do you call a woman with two black eyes? Irish sunglasses

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why am I a hobo? because I lost my job.

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why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

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A Serbian Film

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Q: A black man, A Mexican, And a Asian are in a car. Who Is Driving? A: The Cop.

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What Did Gretel say to Hansel? Stop having sex with Ariana Grande!

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A successful, articulate, charming, well mannered, rich, young man walks into a bar.... Every night

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j.p. is dumb

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What didn't the artist buy at Best Buy? A Ziploc Bag full of AIDs infested zebra pubes.

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Why was 2 afraid of three Because it bigger

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Why can't Ray Charles read? Cuz he is blind You illiterate uneducated racist bastard trying to say it was because he was black.

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What did the teenage boy do when his mum was out shopping? Finish his homework.

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What page are you on The gay page.

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Why didn't the man go to the movies?? Because he likes pie.

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Wanna here a funny joke... Trevor michael dyess's social life.

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What is green and slow Grass.

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What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny becuase the robot had no arms.

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What did the homeless man's sign say? It didn't say anything. You had to read it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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