What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

Why did the Black man cross the road? To get to Pop-Eye's since KFC is too expensive nowadays. HELL-YA

A black man walks down a high street and sees a white woman approaching. He bids her good day and they carry on their respective journeys. He then turns around and follows the white woman and rapes her in a dark alleyway, because as we all know, all black men are rapists.

Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

Man goes into a bar and orders 7 shots, the bartender says "Long day, huh?", the Man says yeh then goes home and kills himself.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

Johny wanted a pogo stick for his birthday. Johny's mom got him a pogo stick for his birthday. The day of Johny's birthday, he fell off the pogo stick and broke his arm.

What did the cat say to the dog before chasing each other You have a nice looking ass

if you are reading this your wasting your time

Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

why did the bear fall out of the tree? He died. Why did the raccoon fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the bear.

Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

Two cats are sat on a window ledge. One cat looks to the other and says "Meoww".

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

So God answered a paralyzed boy's prayer the other day...He said 'No'

Q: How do you count the population of Mexico? A: Take a census.

Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

What did Al gore say after he sold his TV Station to Arab Oil Money? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. CHA-CHING!

Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

How do you get a Jew to jump off a cliff? You kidnap his family and threaten to kill them if he doesn’t.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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