Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your mum is dead, Just fucking with you! Kelvin Yang.

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Whats a black and white and red all over? i dont know...who spends their time researching this kind of stuff

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because seven is a murdering sociopath

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What is up, the color blue and has a face? the sky. there is no face.

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What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An extremely talented reptile.

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What does a homeless guy do when he's hungry ? Nothing, he has no food.

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Why did an old man cause a car accident? He gotf a heart attack.

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Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

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An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

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What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

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Q:Why was 6 afraid of seven? A:Because seven ate (eight) nine

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Me: "If I had Alzheimers, I would break down into tears." Friend: "Why, you would forget why you were crying..." Me: "Who are you again?"

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas many gift card to stores he liked

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What happens when you run over a black man? It is most likely that he is killed.

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Why do so many people like writting really bad anti jokes? Said Santa Claus

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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My uncle got hit by a truck, what was the last thing to go through his mind? The drive shaft.

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women drivers>asian drivers>asian women drivers

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What's the difference between a good anti joke, and a bad anti joke? There literally is no good anti joke.

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Johnny: One day dad i will be tall like you! (Later that day johnny was found dead in a garbage bag)

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why did susie fall off the dollar coaster? it only cost 50 cents susie is gone now

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What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

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Knock knock Who’s there? The police, your family was killed in a horrific car crash on highway 22 this morning at 10:15 after they collided head on with a truck. They died instantly if it is any conciliation. We will contact you further into our investigation. Dave then poured himself a whiskey and thought about all the good times he and his family shared, teaching Jessica to ride a bike, his and Kate’s honeymoon in Honolulu, playing catch with Jacob. That’s when the full extremity of the situation hit Dave causing him to break into tears he sat and cried for three hours and fifteen minutes. Once he had gotten that out of his system he decided to visit his mother and tell her the horrible news. Knock Knock Who’s there? Dave Dave who? Again Dave breaks into tears as his grandmothers althsiemers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember her sons name. Feeling shattered he decides not to go through the process of explaining who he is and decides to head to the local pub to drown his sorrows. Bartender: hard day? Dave: my wife and two beautiful children were mauled in a head on collision with a truck and my mother can’t remember who I am. Bartender: yeah sure but was it a hard day? Dumbstruck with this ridiculous remark Dave pauses for a moment. The bar is silent only the sounds of bottles clinking and feet tapping on bar stools can be heard. Cigarette smoke hangs in the air. Dave stares at the bartender momentarily then throws his bottle at him send him off balance Dave then grabs the shot gun he knows the bartender keeps behind the counter and shoots the bartender at point blank range. Some customers run scared witless other try to control Dave but only end up in the same position as the bartender. Dave is left standing in a pool of blood. The smell of death hangs in the air with the cigarette smoke. Feeling slightly better Dave heads home and kills himself. Dave was an excellent plumber we will miss him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to, like any other chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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