- Anti Joke

Why did the puerto rican cross the road? To get back to his country, but then he realized there wasn't a road then fell in the ocean and drowned.

What's the different between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my penis up your butthole

What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Eating mud

What do you call a fat man who can turn slim? I don't know

What do a reindeer and a grape have in common? They are both purple, except for the reindeer.

What do black people and bananas have in common? 50% of their DNA

Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Women's Rights

What's black and white and red all over and can't go through a revolving door? A nun with a spear stuck in her head.

This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

What did the korean say to the other korean. I don't know i dont speak korean.

What do you call a black man driving a plane? You don't call it anything. You don't drive a plane you fly it.

How many Jews can you fit in the car? 4 in the seats and 6 million in the ashtray.

really? are people insistantly so totally stupid? Now read that again and you may notice something. :P

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? You don't, he just jumps down.

Who is buried in Grant's Tomb? DeShawn

You know what's funny with rape? Nothing. It's horror.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.

What is not a car park? Clash of clans

how do you make a baby stop crying? but hot coals down its throat

Can Anti-Jokes censor curse-word tenses? Fuck Fucking Fucked Fucks

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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