Why was the man picking his nose? Because he was born without one, and found one he liked.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpion

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what did one paper football say to the other? did you get flicked off too.

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You know what makes me sick? Bacteria

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What did the mexican do after he finished his taco? He was eaten by a dinosaur.

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What did the statue say to the other statue? stat-you?

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OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

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what's bloody and sweet? A squashed mosquito sprinkled with sugar.

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what happened to the slut last time she opened her legs. a bee flew in and stung her. turned out she was deathly allergic. she died a painful death.

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Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

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What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming? "Here come the elephants!"

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Why did the man have no head? It was blown off in Iraq 2 and days ago

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Do you know what a zombie smells like? Death

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Jamie Oliver eats a chip

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Why did the elderly lady cross the road? Because an atomic bomb was exploding behind her

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Why was King Triton mad at Ariel? Her grades were under the C.

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Jack, John, Justin, Joseph and Jimmy walk into a bar. They order a pint of beer and start wondering what their names have in common.

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What's worse than finding your whole family dead? Nothing. Finding your family dead is terrible.

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What do you call a green dog? A green dog.

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A japanese man enters a Honda dealership and is approached by an eager salesman. The salesman shows him a few models and then asks him curiously "What do they call Honda in Japan?" The japanese man answered "Honda"

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What do you do if you walk outside and see your t.v. floating in the lawn in the middle of the night? Go back inside.

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im gonna poop my pants. mom said to wipe afterwards i am a teletubby

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a car? It depends on how fast you drive.

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what did the blind man see? Nothing he felt the penis in his butt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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