- Anti Joke

What did Shaggy say to Scooby before they got in the Mystery Machine? Scooby, get in the Mystery Machine.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes And now so do you

Don't you just hate it when somebody is saying something interesting and they don't finish their sentence?

What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

Did you know that all of the seasons are named after coils of metal? Except Winter... And Autum... And Summer...

xCh3wyy is the biggest fail in the entire universe. If you head to www.youtube.com/xxch3wyyxx You will see how much he fails. Please dislike his horrible video and tell him to suck a prick.

What does a Somalian want for Christmas? Nothing hes Sunni Muslim and does not celebrate Christmas

How do you make an egg laugh? You can't. Eggs are inanimate objects which are incapable of emotion, thus laughter.

why did susy fall off the swing? Cause she has no arms knock knock Who's there? not susy

Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? An ambulance.

Why did the Iraqi airline crash? The pilot was a tomato.

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

Q: Billy has 47 pieces of cake, he eats 38. What does he have left? A: Diabetes

http://media.photobucket.com/image/whale%20penis/marcus1v0/whale_penis2.jpg

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What rhymes with milk...milf

What's black and really really smelly? Martin Luther King Jr.'s grave.

What was Jenna's favourite ice cream flavour? Keyword; was, she's dead now

what do u call a dumbass phone cia cias phone

Whats funnier than a dead baby? Pretty much anything.

What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

steven hawking walks into a bar just kidding he has a horrable disiese preventing him from walking

Q:If quizes are, "guizicles," then what are tests? A:Who calls quizes, "quizicles?"

Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.