How I Met Your Mother, starring Oedipus Rex

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What follows 2 days of rain? Statistically more rain, but you'll have to check the weather report to be sure.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A man is standing on the street corner waiting for the bus. As it pulls up he steps on and pays his fare while he whistles to his iPod.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q. Why is Obama stupid? A. That's an opinion, therefore i cannot answer that.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Joke- Blah Blah Blah, punch line -LOL -Shut the hell up

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q: How do you turn a purple panda into a red panda A: Feed it grey poop and because it tasted so bad it got so mad it turned red.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

person 1. Did you here about the black guy who went to college? person 2.no person 1. either have i whats ironic is that they are both black

thumb_up thumb_down -32

His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q.How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb? A.1

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What do you call a bunch of spics playing soccer? Professional soccer players.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A guy, arriving at the pearly gates of Heaven, asks St. Peter "Why did I die? Why me." St. Peter replies: "You died the same way everyone does. Lack of oxygen to the brain."

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What's big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Yesterday, my friend said I should facebook him. So I slammed a book into his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

All I can say is that its not the feds, and not Interpol nothing "legal" nor anything belonging to the state as far as we can tell. You all stay locked up, and I will make sure this little geek with shitty breath does not say anything about you, as for the rest, I cant say much.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Q: Do you know how to save a black man from drowning? A: No. GOOD!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Dad: Blind side was the black kid who played tight end. Me: Offensive line. Dad: Sorry, African American kid.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

knock knock whose there? penis penis who? penis want vagina

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A man walks out of a bar. He didn't bring his driver's license, but managed to do a grand theft auto and unfortunately, crashed on the way home beacuse of a tree. Also, killed 12 people by car

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did the prostitute begin to cry when she saw the chinese patron's penis? His testicles are diced onions.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What's black and white and red all over? A butler with a stab wound.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

You know that Duck song on youtube? I dont get it... ducks cant talk...

thumb_up thumb_down -34

a boy jumps off a building why? because he's afraid of heights

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops